Carpe Kairos!

Deep goosebumps as two books I'm reading collide in the most wondrous way! Creating Time took me deeper into understanding the quality of TIME described by the Greek word, Kairos.  Carry On, Warrior hooked me up with the wincingly spot-on term, Carpe Kairos.

Glennon Doyle Melton writes brilliantly about all the people - especially the little old ladies - who stop her in the store, at the mail, at the drycleaners to say how much they hope she is enjoying every moment of this time with her little ones, how precious it is.  "Carpe Diem!"  These messages often being delivered as she's trying to prevent her little ones from various forms of mayhem. 

Instead of Carpe Diem!, Glennon believes we should Carpe Kairos!

Funny, reading that less than 30 minutes after deciding to illustrate the relationship between Kairos (numinous time) with Kronos (sequential time).  To quote Creating Time, Kronos is the time of clocks and calendars; it can be quantified, measured...  Kairos is a time of festivals and fantasies;  it cannot be controlled or possessed.  Kairos is circular, dancing back & forth, here and there, without beginning or ending, and knows no boundaries.

The original art project I come up with to illustrate the interplay between Kairos & Kronos was to create a collage an image of Robin Williams dancing on top of a clock.  Over lunch, decided on two trapeze artists - the ropes & bars & even humans are Kronos, while the space they fly through going from one to another is the Kairos experience. 

Here is what Glennon says about Kairos & Kronos - - There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It’s regular time, it’s one minute at a time, it’s staring down the clock till bedtime time, it’s ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it’s four screaming minutes in time out time, it’s two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.

Then there’s Kairos time. Kairos is God’s time. It’s time outside of time. It’s metaphysical time. Kairos is those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day, and I cherish them.

It's flying through space, from one bar to the next.  It's the moments we can't plan & never forget. 

I'm with Glennon - forget Carpe Diem.  Carpe Kairos!

Chutes & Ladders

Several times a month, I have the pleasure of sharing breakfast at a local diner with a young man who gives a great mental massage.  Breakfast never ends without ingesting fresh info & a different perspective along with the eggs over-easy & grits.

It's not to much of a stretch to say Luke is old enough to be my grandson - 22 to my 64.  He has an unusual mind & attitude - was tempted to say an old soul in a youthful body, but while that is an easy platitude, it is totally off base.  Luke has a vibrant outlook, a zeal for life & enough tempering to be able to share it with the world.  Maybe it's the tempering that makes me think "old" when a better word is...  It eludes me.  Maybe Luke deserves a lexicon of his own.

Luke is consumed with considering the WHY in our lives.  Not just his, but EVERYONE's.  He thrives on hearing them, delving into them, helping others recognize & connect with them, sharing them with the world through The Why Blog, one of my weekly must reads.  It's enriching, at my age, to be friends with someone at the beginnings of his WHYs, to bask in the fun of hearing - and, even more, watching - him talk about his passion. 

As my dear Mama would say, the world is his oyster & every month has an R.

Driving home yesterday from Daddy Pops, found myself wondering what I'd like to say to Luke, what one bit of Elder wisdom I could share with someone who gives me so much youth-filled inspiration.  This morning, it hit me - life is a game of Chutes & Ladders.

Chutes & Ladders - am sure Luke, coming from a large family with a wide range of ages, is well aware of the classic children's game, where a roll of the dice or a spin of the wheel might send land you on a chute cascading you back a few (or many) spaces ~or~ on a ladder lifting you up closer to the finish. 

In my real-life Chutes & Ladders, have typically learned more from the chute incidents than from the ladder. 

Smiling, thinking about my #1 ladder experience - my wedding, from meeting & immediately handing over my heart to John to the actual wedding weekend.  September 1-4, 1989.  Definitely the mega ladder of my life, with nary a single chute from our 02/03/89 first connect to our 09/03/89 CONNECT. 

Along the way from then to now, we've - individually & together - experienced many a chute & ladder.  I think John would agree that the chute moments  have ultimately taken us up to new awareness insight appreciation rather than permanently dragged us down.  

And no matter how ghastly the tumble seems to be, we have invariably gotten back on our true path, eager for the next roll of the dice or spin of the wheel. 

Every time Luke & I connect for breakfast & a gab, it's a precious moment for me.  One day - for me, far too soon - he will be off to the bigger, wider world that already embraces him, is already enriched by him.  No more ordering the special, catching up, talking about his most recent podcast, my most recent conference or book recommendation. 

Am taking special care to be fully engaged in this here & now.  Enjoying the moment.  Remembering an awesome mind massage that left me thinking way beyond what was said, got me thinking this morning - "Chutes & Ladders!"

still soaking in last weekend

Like my dear Mama, I am deeply challenged to write about the things that touch me the deepest.  So, it's understandable that it's a struggle to process through & put down on paper my experiences from last weekend's International Conference on Positive Aging.  But I will!

Starting out with the totally unexpected high point - opening my heart to being an Elder, facilitated & witnessed by Harvey Austin (aka Harvey the Elder).

When Harvey asked those of us gathered in a circle around him which felt like they were Elders, I was one of those who did NOT put up my hand.  By the end of the hour - which flew by - I was ready to accept the mantle of Elder.  It was quite a moment. 

A moment that has grown & deepened as I read Harvey's book - Elders Rock!  I've already profusely praised Harvey, but this posting is to acknowledge the difference it's made fully & freely embracing being an Elder.  It seemed so - presumptuous to envision myself at such a lofty stage, but now see it is one we should all not simply aspire to, but claim.  What a difference between those two! 

Before leaving for the conference, I knew that the person who came back from D.C. would not be the same person John kissed good bye at Somerton train station.  I can't say that it is a surprise, discovering how many layers keep peeling off.  With a mother like mine ~ who made seven trips to Australia between 65-85, who sought - on her own - psychological counseling in her late 80s ("I don't have any idea who I am."), who started writing e-mail postings to an devoted & ever-growning dist list ~ the thought of continued learning & spiritual growth to my final days has always been a given.  Ditto with so many of her friends.  But it is impossible to describe the delight of peeling off another layer, of finding a new grain underneath what was, a new awareness that's been within me since forever, waiting to be recognized.

So much to say & so stumbled in how to say it!

delayed bliss is bliss multiplied

In a wondrous example of "It's never too late to live the dream!", today I spent 90 glorious minutes in "auntie" mode with five terrific kids.  Well, actually three after the first two "tweens" headed out to hang with friends, but got to at least catch glimpses of & a few words with each.

A dear young friend is returning to college to complete her bachelor's.  Her child tending challenge turned into my opportunity to wallow in a role I was born to play - indulgent auntie!

Today felt like a glorious replay of one of the happiest days of my life - when Whitney & Chad came by for a visit with Campbell, then three, and Piper, who was a baby. 

Instead of planning a lunchy thing, I put together a mini craft workshop, customized for a small child.  It was so much fun!  The components of each craft were ready to roll, waiting for Campbell to put them together.  She really did do the work, but I'd planned it to be simple & pretty snazzy, if I do say so myself.  She did four different crafts, including decorating sparkly sugar cookie snowflakes & putting together cocoa mix labeled "Campbell's Snowman Soup." (I was so wrapped up in the joy of preparing for the visit, I completely missed the word play until putting the label on the teeny jar!!) 

As I remember it,  we all had a frolicking good time & my brother, Peter, was blown away when he saw what his granddaughter had created.  It went so well,  Whitney urged me to turn crafting with littles into a business, saying lots of Main Line Moms would jump at the offering. 

As the four of them headed out the door, visions of many future meet-ups danced in my head!  Alas, it was not to be.  But I will always & forever have those special hours, treasured in my heart. 

Praise be, with my current young friends, am assured of having LOTS of Friday afternoons getting to be the sort of auntie I've longed to be since forever, to goof around with a wonderful range of ages (pre-school through 8th grade), to catch a few words each time with a Mom whose parents have been friends of mine since I was at least Cayden's age.

It's never too late to live a dream.  What a glorious thing to begin doing at 64 - t bask in the bliss of being thoroughly auntified over the next 8+ months, great training for my late winter visit Down Under with my other really & truly niece, her hubster & their two darling daughters. 

From what I experienced today, what I look forward next year, I can tell you for absolute sure - bliss delayed can be bliss multiplied!

Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
Is it something that I'm supposed to be?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Harvey ROCKS!

A quick-heads  up to a just-submitted Amazon review for Harvey M. Austin's must-read book, ELDERS ROCK!:

This summer, of all summers, with its world-gone-mad vibe, is THE time to read a book with this much heart & heartfelt wisdom. Harvey M Austin is a true Elder, bringing a lifetime of experiences to a message that our culture - well, all cultures, but especially our living-in-the-dark American culture - needs to hear understand embrace. We are born to experience stages, not ages, of life; to be marked by abundance, not years. Harvey's book goes a long way to reintroduce a new respect for growing in experience & understanding, stepping us past the leaden dread of just growing old. More than an excellent book - warmly written, easily read, solo or (better yet) with others - it's a must-read for anyone who wants to embrace the wonders we're born to be & do, rather than the flat dull deadening whatever it is so many - too many - settle into accepting. 

ELDERS ROCK! is the perfect companion book for Ashton Applewhite's THIS CHAIR ROCKS - a manifesto against aging.  Exceptional individual reads that, brought together, put the POW! in the power of growing upward. 

We are in a time of great change, of revolutionary - evolutionary - overhauls to the dismal culture our country has constructed around growing aged in America. With Ashton as our Thomas Paine & Harvey as our George Washington - a wise Elder ready to lead to a wondrous outcome - victory will surely be ours! 

ELDERS ROCK! ~ read it - embrace it - live it! 

 

Harvey ROCKS!