The richness of being elders

"The richness of being elders" - that's a wonderful phrase used by Wendy Lustbader in Life Gets Better, the unexpected pleasures of getting older.

The Gramster was blessed to have that very experience, as did - amazingly - most of her dearest friends.  Gay P., Margarie R., Emilie A., Cornelia S., Viola R., Gig C., Linda K., Connie R....  The list could go on with many more names of treasured friends & pleasant acquaintances who were honored by younger friends & family as priceless mentors & role models.

Growing up, my norm was of experiencing "ancients" (Mom's term, not mine) who were looked up to by children & grands, whose wisdom was sought & valued.

I grew up with older people who seemed to become clearer in their self-knowledge as the decades ticked past, who looked back at mistakes & gained valuable insights from their new perspective, whose ability to manage in at least some small way the many indignities inflicted by an aging body.  It seemed that instead of feeling diminished, they developed a stronger, deeper sense of confidence in who they were & what was important to them.  

When we live as I believe our core nature intends, with aging comes new inner freedoms, stemming from feeling less constrained by other people's judgments & expectations and understanding more what their most cherished values really are.  It is worth noting that Mom was in her upper 80s when she came to terms with not having a grounded sense of just who SHE was, just shy of her 90th birthday when she started sharing life story & personal insights via e-mail.  

From what I've read & even more from what I've seen - admittedly, in ideal circumstances, where the olders were still living in a home environment - the older they got, the more they were able to identify & releases what wasn't really them while embracing & even enhancing what was.  By the time Mom was reunited with her O Best Beloved, she truly felt the richness of being an elder.  And we were all enriched by it.