An answered query this a.m. on Quora.com notes three things everyone should do before they die. Two left me with wistful smiles, they're so spot on - at any age: open up to people & make peace with your past. But the very first - "Get your stuff in order & don't leave the material burdens of your life for those who love you " - has me torn between chortles & alarm, writing this posting before I've had breakfast or journaled.
"Get rid of everything before you die." Seriously? Pretty brutal, I suspect written by a young person with limited, if any, experience of oldsters elders ancients. Their "stuff" are anchors to their past, links back to moments & memories that help keep them grounded in their here & now.
Yes, get rid of your stuff - throughout your life. And let your family know the stories behind the items that matter.
One of my most treasured possessions is a small gift tag that Dad wrote to Mom on their first Christmas, in the heart of the Depression - "Such a small thing to show all my love." I see the young man, making $17 a week (and happy to have that), wishing he could lay the riches of the world at his O Best Beloved's feet, settling for his heart. Over almost 40 years together, he would give her great & grand gifts, but none so precious as that card, which Mom kept by her bedside to her last day. Over the 28 years she was without Dad, whenever she looked at it, held it in the palm of her hand, she was that newly-wed again, 24 & just starting out on their great adventure.
To someone going through Mom's things, that scrap of paper would be charming, but - without the story - meaningless. Sadly, too few of today's young people get to hear family stories as a natural pat of their day-to-day life.
Here's what I would have in that #1 spot - Share your stories. Tell the youngers in your life about how your grandfather turned the rolling pin in your hands for your grandmother. Point out family pictures, give faces & scenes life context relevancy.
Yes, winnow out the things that don't matter, the stuff, then let your loved ones know why what remains matter.
If you are an oldster elder ancient: One last gift to loved ones that really can reduce their burden & stress when you're gone - - clearly identify who in your family & circle of friends get which of your treasures. It can reduce squabbles, clarify WHY you want this piece to go to that person.
If you are a younger: Help your older loved go through & winnow out their possessions, even if they are able to stay in the house you grew up in to their final days. Not to get rid of stuff, but to honor the precious things that should be moved forward to new lives, the ones that need to be bid adieu,, the ones that are kept - and why.
If you are a youngster: Be curious about the earlier years of the olders in your life. The old & the young often form stronger connections & alliances than either can or do with those in the middle. Give it a whirl!
Throughout your life, keep your things to a minimum, which will mean different things to different people. Share your stories. Attach historical/sentimental value to what you have & let others know, too. But "Get rid of everything" ? Stuff & nonsense!
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