Although my mother outlived most of her Class of '28 classmates & the pleasant acquaintances of her youth, to the end of her days she still had Gig & Ellen, both of whom she knew since her early twenties, as close friends. Gig moved out to Portland & Ellen was down in Texas, but they were both a letter, a phone call away.
Praise be, Mom had the gift for making friends & - just as important - had the opportunity to do just that throughout her life. Friendships within & without of her family, friendships with contemporaries & younger folks & especially little kids filled her days with a special joy of living.
I look at a dear older fiend who's in her mid-90s, dealing with the challenges of dementia, and ponder how she still draws friends of all ages into her orbit through her smile & a zest for being alive that others find irresistible.
Having a circle of friends, or even just a couple close ones, is wonderful for our health.
Am surprised to find myself remembering back to my younger years & how my little hometown was abuzz with opportunities to enjoy & create friendships. Friday Supper, which provided a weekly opportunity to connect with old friends & make new ones over helpings of roast beef, mashed potatoes & green beans. Women's Guild, which brought ladies together to serve community uses. Sons of the Academy & Theta Alpha, with their occasional meetings & annual dinners. All of them arched across the ages.
How, in this relatively slap dash digital world, can we help older people nurture their existing friendships & make new ones that go past the merely superficial (although those have their use!)? More to the point, what can we do to nurture our own?
I think of Anne sharing meals with David & Christine, Ramie & Mary - none of whom she knew seven years ago, each of whom helps her feel a sense of belonging, of purpose, of LIVING. Then, I think of the oldsters & elderly residents who always seem to eat alone. What am I doing NOW to help be like Anne as I grow older, rather than like those solitaries eating alone?
Thoughts of the importance of friendship came up a few days back, visiting an older buddy who's currently in rehab at Artman, in Ambler. Twice last week, the staff put on a social gathering, with wine & nibblings & great music in the background. They made opportunities for people to talk with folks they see in the exercise room, in the gym, walking through the halls!
The people there are not longtime residents - they will be in, there out. Still, in spite of being transients, Artman provides a nurturing space & welcoming opportunity for connections to be made, friendships to be fostered. I give them a well-deserved tip of the hat!
People who have a sense of connection to others tend to fare better in life. They might have their physical challenges, they might be facing daunting situations, but friendship helps them be as fit as possible in body, mind & spirit.
No great message in this posting, just an Artman-inspired shout-out to the power of friendship, a thank you that in an era where friendship doesn't seem to come as naturally or be as bolstered as it was in years gone by, my life is blessed with dear friends & very special pleasant acquaintances. They help power my days & light my path!
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