Until I launch my playfulness blog on July 3, mosey on over to http:/ /dreamreweaver.blogspot.com for any current postings.
See ya later, alligator!
http://dreamreweaver.blogspot.com/2017/06/reiner-brooks-set-up-their-longevity.html
Monday, June 5, 2017
Saturday, May 13, 2017
Making legacy gathering simple, fun
Thank you, Sue Barocas! Your book - Elderwriters: Celebrate Your Life! - is the book I'll give to the friend who loves writing, enjoys working with older friends. & loved ones, wants to find meaning work that touches countless lives. Sue Barocas shows the way to creating a terrific workshop series on legacy-building through storytelling.
It's the book I'll press into the hands of younger friends to help them build stronger connections with grand-parents, great-aunts & uncles, grand friends. Sue shows the ways for preserving family history while forging cross-generation connections.
It's the book I'll give to the activities directors at the "senior" communities I love so they can develop wondrous workshops to help their residents capture & preserve their treasured memories & precious wisdom.
Sue's Personal Legacy Document process gets my blue ribbon for breaking down the barriers that keep most older people from leaving a truly priceless legacy - their own stories.
Sue Barocas takes the terror out of legacy writing, makes it fun & fulfilling. Bravo!
Now get to your favorite bookstore or website & order a copy(ies) - NOW!
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Stuff & nonsense
An answered query this a.m. on Quora.com notes three things everyone should do before they die. Two left me with wistful smiles, they're so spot on - at any age: open up to people & make peace with your past. But the very first - "Get your stuff in order & don't leave the material burdens of your life for those who love you " - has me torn between chortles & alarm, writing this posting before I've had breakfast or journaled.
"Get rid of everything before you die." Seriously? Pretty brutal, I suspect written by a young person with limited, if any, experience of oldsters elders ancients. Their "stuff" are anchors to their past, links back to moments & memories that help keep them grounded in their here & now.
Yes, get rid of your stuff - throughout your life. And let your family know the stories behind the items that matter.
One of my most treasured possessions is a small gift tag that Dad wrote to Mom on their first Christmas, in the heart of the Depression - "Such a small thing to show all my love." I see the young man, making $17 a week (and happy to have that), wishing he could lay the riches of the world at his O Best Beloved's feet, settling for his heart. Over almost 40 years together, he would give her great & grand gifts, but none so precious as that card, which Mom kept by her bedside to her last day. Over the 28 years she was without Dad, whenever she looked at it, held it in the palm of her hand, she was that newly-wed again, 24 & just starting out on their great adventure.
To someone going through Mom's things, that scrap of paper would be charming, but - without the story - meaningless. Sadly, too few of today's young people get to hear family stories as a natural pat of their day-to-day life.
Here's what I would have in that #1 spot - Share your stories. Tell the youngers in your life about how your grandfather turned the rolling pin in your hands for your grandmother. Point out family pictures, give faces & scenes life context relevancy.
Yes, winnow out the things that don't matter, the stuff, then let your loved ones know why what remains matter.
If you are an oldster elder ancient: One last gift to loved ones that really can reduce their burden & stress when you're gone - - clearly identify who in your family & circle of friends get which of your treasures. It can reduce squabbles, clarify WHY you want this piece to go to that person.
If you are a younger: Help your older loved go through & winnow out their possessions, even if they are able to stay in the house you grew up in to their final days. Not to get rid of stuff, but to honor the precious things that should be moved forward to new lives, the ones that need to be bid adieu,, the ones that are kept - and why.
If you are a youngster: Be curious about the earlier years of the olders in your life. The old & the young often form stronger connections & alliances than either can or do with those in the middle. Give it a whirl!
Throughout your life, keep your things to a minimum, which will mean different things to different people. Share your stories. Attach historical/sentimental value to what you have & let others know, too. But "Get rid of everything" ? Stuff & nonsense!
"Get rid of everything before you die." Seriously? Pretty brutal, I suspect written by a young person with limited, if any, experience of oldsters elders ancients. Their "stuff" are anchors to their past, links back to moments & memories that help keep them grounded in their here & now.
Yes, get rid of your stuff - throughout your life. And let your family know the stories behind the items that matter.
One of my most treasured possessions is a small gift tag that Dad wrote to Mom on their first Christmas, in the heart of the Depression - "Such a small thing to show all my love." I see the young man, making $17 a week (and happy to have that), wishing he could lay the riches of the world at his O Best Beloved's feet, settling for his heart. Over almost 40 years together, he would give her great & grand gifts, but none so precious as that card, which Mom kept by her bedside to her last day. Over the 28 years she was without Dad, whenever she looked at it, held it in the palm of her hand, she was that newly-wed again, 24 & just starting out on their great adventure.
To someone going through Mom's things, that scrap of paper would be charming, but - without the story - meaningless. Sadly, too few of today's young people get to hear family stories as a natural pat of their day-to-day life.
Here's what I would have in that #1 spot - Share your stories. Tell the youngers in your life about how your grandfather turned the rolling pin in your hands for your grandmother. Point out family pictures, give faces & scenes life context relevancy.
Yes, winnow out the things that don't matter, the stuff, then let your loved ones know why what remains matter.
If you are an oldster elder ancient: One last gift to loved ones that really can reduce their burden & stress when you're gone - - clearly identify who in your family & circle of friends get which of your treasures. It can reduce squabbles, clarify WHY you want this piece to go to that person.
If you are a younger: Help your older loved go through & winnow out their possessions, even if they are able to stay in the house you grew up in to their final days. Not to get rid of stuff, but to honor the precious things that should be moved forward to new lives, the ones that need to be bid adieu,, the ones that are kept - and why.
If you are a youngster: Be curious about the earlier years of the olders in your life. The old & the young often form stronger connections & alliances than either can or do with those in the middle. Give it a whirl!
Throughout your life, keep your things to a minimum, which will mean different things to different people. Share your stories. Attach historical/sentimental value to what you have & let others know, too. But "Get rid of everything" ? Stuff & nonsense!
Sunday, May 7, 2017
I object!
My mother was typical of her circle of friends in shrugging off the value of internet access. She especially saw little advantage to "getting online." She was a devoted correspondent with a large group of family & friends - barely a day went by when she wasn't dashing off a note, reading a fresh-from-the mail box letter from Kerry or Lorna in Audstralia, Ellen down in Texas, Peggy in Missouri, and all over the globe.
Mom loved going out to shop & was, to the last, mobile & eager to GO - online shopping had no lure for her. As for computer-based bill paying, she distrusted its security & she actually liked writing out the checks - a young adult during the Depression, she never lost a sense of grateful joy making out checks for this or that bill, knowing there was money in the bank to cover it.
What lured Mom onto the World Wide Web was the immediacy of discussion. She quickly grew to appreciate the easy sharing of ideas, opinions, insights. Within a week of venturing out into cyber space, she was hooked!
Not that it ever would have happened if she'd had to navigate the computer on her own. This was long before tablets made computing less daunting for many oldsters elders ancients - just a hulking big personal computer staring her down. But I had a vested interest in getting Mom up & running with computing - she was increasingly isolated. Her health took a beating when she was 85; although she recovered, Mom was never again spry. She didn't venture out of the house if the was the slightest possibility of ice.
Hardest for Mom was the loss of her compadres, either isolated in their homes or moved closer to adult child, or died. She was possibly the most social creature I've ever know; her circle of long-time friends was growing ever smaller, but her love of social interaction was as strong as ever.
Mom slowly evolved into embracing the internet, but once she did, became an online evangelist with a vengeance! She loved sitting close to me in the computer studio, cup of coffee in hand, and dictate or direct, as I transcribed on keyboard. She never did succumb to online banking or bill paying, never could completely get her head around carrying on a real-time e-mail discussion with her Australian granddaughter, but she DID take special delight in going online & ordering a custom designed flower arrangement - complete with small pail & measuring tape - from a Sydney florist when her #2 son opened a high-end hardware store in that beautiful city she loved so well.
While Mom started out objecting to the internet having any value to her, nothing illustrates how fully she'd changed that original judgement than the last week of her full & glorious life, spent in her own room right next to the computer studio, where she received a flow of guests & answered e-mail questions from the local college's psych students.
Although we'd been warned that she could sink into deep depression, that only happened once - on Thursday morning, smack dab in the middle of her last week.
Nothing helped - I sang her favorite songs & hymns, read beloved passages from the Bible, talked about Dad. No improvement. Then I suggested - "How about if I check on any questions?" Got a glimmer of a response, so I high tailed it next door.
Hit the mother lode! One of the students asked, "I believe that I have met the woman I will marry. What can you share with me about love & loving?" Mom swung back to her usual self, taking deep joy in fulfilling the young man's request for wisdom & tender insight. All thanks to getting past her objections to see the pleasures opened up through being online.
Some years later, I was working with my IT support (I have a past history of bad relationships with laptops). We were talking about how few older people back when Mom was alive were active on computers, how rare she was, how much that was turning around. I shared with him my favorite story of Mom adventures in cyber space - the tale of that woeful Thursday & how one e-mailed question turned everything around. Imagine my surprise to see a tear stealing down the cheek of my IT guy!
"I was the young man who asked that question - and I cherish & use what she shared with me every day."
Mom loved going out to shop & was, to the last, mobile & eager to GO - online shopping had no lure for her. As for computer-based bill paying, she distrusted its security & she actually liked writing out the checks - a young adult during the Depression, she never lost a sense of grateful joy making out checks for this or that bill, knowing there was money in the bank to cover it.
What lured Mom onto the World Wide Web was the immediacy of discussion. She quickly grew to appreciate the easy sharing of ideas, opinions, insights. Within a week of venturing out into cyber space, she was hooked!
Not that it ever would have happened if she'd had to navigate the computer on her own. This was long before tablets made computing less daunting for many oldsters elders ancients - just a hulking big personal computer staring her down. But I had a vested interest in getting Mom up & running with computing - she was increasingly isolated. Her health took a beating when she was 85; although she recovered, Mom was never again spry. She didn't venture out of the house if the was the slightest possibility of ice.
Hardest for Mom was the loss of her compadres, either isolated in their homes or moved closer to adult child, or died. She was possibly the most social creature I've ever know; her circle of long-time friends was growing ever smaller, but her love of social interaction was as strong as ever.
Mom slowly evolved into embracing the internet, but once she did, became an online evangelist with a vengeance! She loved sitting close to me in the computer studio, cup of coffee in hand, and dictate or direct, as I transcribed on keyboard. She never did succumb to online banking or bill paying, never could completely get her head around carrying on a real-time e-mail discussion with her Australian granddaughter, but she DID take special delight in going online & ordering a custom designed flower arrangement - complete with small pail & measuring tape - from a Sydney florist when her #2 son opened a high-end hardware store in that beautiful city she loved so well.
While Mom started out objecting to the internet having any value to her, nothing illustrates how fully she'd changed that original judgement than the last week of her full & glorious life, spent in her own room right next to the computer studio, where she received a flow of guests & answered e-mail questions from the local college's psych students.
Although we'd been warned that she could sink into deep depression, that only happened once - on Thursday morning, smack dab in the middle of her last week.
Nothing helped - I sang her favorite songs & hymns, read beloved passages from the Bible, talked about Dad. No improvement. Then I suggested - "How about if I check on any questions?" Got a glimmer of a response, so I high tailed it next door.
Hit the mother lode! One of the students asked, "I believe that I have met the woman I will marry. What can you share with me about love & loving?" Mom swung back to her usual self, taking deep joy in fulfilling the young man's request for wisdom & tender insight. All thanks to getting past her objections to see the pleasures opened up through being online.
Some years later, I was working with my IT support (I have a past history of bad relationships with laptops). We were talking about how few older people back when Mom was alive were active on computers, how rare she was, how much that was turning around. I shared with him my favorite story of Mom adventures in cyber space - the tale of that woeful Thursday & how one e-mailed question turned everything around. Imagine my surprise to see a tear stealing down the cheek of my IT guy!
"I was the young man who asked that question - and I cherish & use what she shared with me every day."
Sunday, April 30, 2017
Put the peddle to the metal
Pretty amazing feeling, experiencing the first stage of my current - perhaps greatest - true north passion as completed. I've successfully expressed my core goal for Cyber Access for the Technically Timid (CATT). That might seem a no-brainer. "You've been batting this around for over 15 years - you only just clarified it in your mind?!"
YES.
All anyone has to do is read last fall's crowdfunding request to see that I'd thrown a lot of different balls in the air. They were all worthwhile, it's just that while all had grabbed my attention, I hadn't taken the time or the due diligence to determine which one or two grabbed my heart.
Although I was not consciously aware of how flub -a-dubbed I was, my True Self knew & shut me down. Without realizing it, I shifted gears, going offline (except Facebook & an occasional peek at e-mail). For five months, I immersed myself in reading.
I'd actually starting my reading jag back in the late fall, reading or rereading Brene Brown, devouring Glennon Doyle Melton, refamiliaring myself with Taming the Gremlin. Marney Makridakis transformed my relationship with time. Came February, I hunkered down with John Tarnoff, Tim Ferriss, Sarah Pennypacker, Guy Kawasaki, Peter Guber, Doug Stevenson, Robert Grudin, Alexander Osterwalder, Marie Clapsaddle, Abby Stokes, Chris Murray, Adam Steltzner, Milchael Miller & the awesome TODD HENRY.
It took me a while to realize my thinking had turned from personal to professional development. Went down on my knees in gratitude at the number of exceptional books being written for creatives in business today. (20 years ago, Guy Kawasaki was basically the only author equating business with flat-out FUN - and he's gotten even better & more passionate with the years.). I look at my reading table, at shelves to my left & right - books on business models & the power of storytelling, computer basics & translating passion & purpose into a compelling business plan.
They - and the many scores of books in bookshelves throughout the house - all helped boost me to this moment, where the vision part is DONE, the peddle-to-the-metal part begins.
"WHY?"
The WHY behind Cyber Access for the Technically Timid is simple - freedom & choice. Witha friendly person keyboarding at their every whim, an oldster elder or ancient once again holds the reins.
The impact isn't theoretical for me - experienced it 1st hand with my case study of one: Mom. At 85, a major medical crisis transformed her health from fairly robust to relatively frail. Although she still got out more than most of her friends, putting even ones in their 70s to shame, she was definitely slower, more cautious & less likely to want to head out in icky weather. For the first time, Mom found herself increasingly home bound.
Around this same time, a lively discussion in our church that engaged Mom's attention moved onto the internet. Mom was hooked. Although she hesitated to get her own e-mail address, she was an enthusiastic participant, writing under my address, using my tip-tapping skills to share her thoughts & experiences.
Would she have ever ventured out into cyber space without such a compelling spur? I doubt it. But once out there, she was a passionate participant. But still under my address. Until...
Until a sensitive situation with someone she loved spurred her to get her very own address. I still keyboarded, but getting that separate address seemed to give Mom a fuller-throated voice, both online & in real life.
Mom (always a great letter writer) took to social networking like a duck to water, using e-mails to share with an ever-expanding dist list stories, thoughts, small moments & big-hearted memories.
In a way, Mom was blogging before blogging was cool!
Doing that took courage, guts & grit, because my older sibs each made it clear they did NOT like this Mom 2.0. Her vignettes & musings weren't intimate or intrusively personal, but they were from a mother my sibs did not recognize & showed had no interest in getting to know. Yet, still she persisted.
It's easy to feel shocked at my older sibs' resistance, but put yourself in their shoes.
First off, they were all in their teens in the '50s, with an Eisenhower-era view of mothers being there for their family, not the reverse. For ALL of their lives, Mom's only thought had been what they wanted, never what she needed. Just expressing her unique voice was experienced by them as a threat. They asked her to stop; when she didn't, they distanced themselves from her life.
And still she persisted.
Cyber Access for the Technically Timid is important because it opens new doors. Mom went through ones that helped her become more the person she was when my father - her O Best Beloved - was alive. That was her experience; other people will have different doors opening, taking them in their own new directions. It could be as simple as surfing the internet for fun places, listening to podcasts or TED talks, or shopping for a too-far-away grandchild's sixth birthday. They may want to get in face time with far distant friends or even start their own blog! They could just want to e-mail an ever growing dist list. It's up to them.
Choice & freedom: the all-important, all-empowering WHY behind Cyber Access for the Technically Timid.
Saturday, April 29, 2017
Mounting up with wings like eagles
5+ months since writing on this blog. The GoFund!e crowdfunding request raised $150 online, far from my $20,000 stretch goal. That said, the request was a WILD success for gathering my energies together, letting them know that transforming CATT into hard-edged, real-time/real-life reality is not mere piffle on my part. If getting them on board had been the only outcome of the request, laying myself bare with the GoFundMe request would have been worth it. And I have $150 to put toward my website costs.
What calls to be done has less to do with funding, everything to do with grit, grace & gumption. We are at the grunt work stage. FINALLY!
Am starting a new blog, connected to my Wordpress website, but will still be checking in here. The new blog will go with me as I put elbow grease & focused forward action behind my dream, but will keep checking back here. This blog holds a lot of important insights, ahas & info of interest that's forever valuable.
What calls to be done has less to do with funding, everything to do with grit, grace & gumption. We are at the grunt work stage. FINALLY!
Am starting a new blog, connected to my Wordpress website, but will still be checking in here. The new blog will go with me as I put elbow grease & focused forward action behind my dream, but will keep checking back here. This blog holds a lot of important insights, ahas & info of interest that's forever valuable.
Will check in next week to tell y'all what's afoot, what's accomplished, what beckons.
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