BIG diff

Sobering to realize one of the big differences between Mom & I - when she realized something would benefit her, she consistently followed through with doing it. (I don't.)

When, early in her marriage, she had trouble getting pregnant & Dr. Bennett prescribed somewhat exotic (for back then), yoga-like exercises to right a diagnosed internal malfunction, she did them.  With five children as proof of the effectiveness.  

When she developed back problems & Dr. Veeck prescribed a daily walk, a set of exercises to do every day & an afternoon nap, she followed through to the end of her days.  In her upper 80s & low 90s, when she couldn't walk around our neighborhood as she once did, she traipsed up & down our street;  when she couldn't do that, she walked around our back yard;  when she couldn't do that, she walked around the kitchen island;  when she couldn't do that, she did foot/leg exercises sitting in the big chair in the living room, the one that Brenda describes as being in the Stickley style.  To her final days, even when she was home that last week of hospice, she still did the breath work exercises she'd added to her regime several years before.  

When we were driving down to DisneyWorld in 1997 - dhe was 87 - and she heard Stephen Covey say something on one of the audiotapes we played on the way down, she asked me to replay it.  Then asked me to replay that short segment again... and again.  "Between stimulus & response is a moment when you can change your response."  All her adult life, she'd say, "I've always done that," dismissing potential criticism of something questionable.  Here, zipping down the interstate, she heard for the first time - from an authoritative source, not her baby - she could change a response, even a lifelong reaction.  From that AH HA moment in the car, heading down I-95, she did take every opportunity to insert a moment between current stimulus & ancient response.

When, in her high 80s, she sought professional psychological counseling to get a better idea who SHE was, separate from others, her psychologist saw her for only two hours  before reaching the conclusion that Mom "knows what do do, now go out & do it."  And she did!  Right off the bat, asking more questions, letting herself turn down requests if they were inconvenient or even if she just didn't want to do it (!).  

When Mom was told about an important way to do something, something considerably outside her experience & even comfort zone, if it made sense to her, she did it.

I don't.  BIG difference between mother & daughter.  Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?  Isn't the considerably older person meant to get stuck in their ways & resist change?  In Mom's case, not so.  And if not so in her case, my guess is it's not so in many cases, where we youngers wouldn't begin to expect change was possible.  How much we can learn, when we doff the allure of stereotyping people.  

Thinking about how much better the world would be if all of us youngers look to an excellent quality in the olders & elders of our acquaintance & did everything in our power to emulate it.  In my case, starting with Mom's trait of seeing a better way & TAKING it.