Blessings of Being a Burden

One hundred thousand thanks to Cheryl Magness for penning a remarkable response to Ezekiel Emanuel's article, Why I Want to Die at 75!  She gives voice to what I do my best to get every grannie client, every family of an oldster, to understand with their head heart spirit.  

Why I Want Live Long & Burden My Children is a must read for everyone, from teen to ancient.  Paused long & lovingly over her statement, "... those who attempt to refute Emanuel’s argument by providing counter-examples to some extent buy into his premise that worth comes from accomplishment and overlook the truth that sometimes the greatest contribution one can make is that borne of weakness."

Oh, to have someone connected to thousands of readers say the thing I try to share on this blog.  Have died & gone to heaven!

"For most people (certainly there are exceptions) parenthood is the supreme character-education course: when we become parents we truly begin to learn what love and sacrifice are all about...  During those 18 or so years that parents directly oversee and guide their children’s lives, the parents benefit as much as the children, by virtue of being so deeply needed by one who is weaker." 

I could never have written that - John & I weren't blessed with children.  So, I could never have written. with authority, what follows.

"As we age the same thing happens again, but in reverse. The children who were once cared for become the ones who care for their parents. And as they do so, they get another chance to grow in compassion, responsibility, care, and selflessness."

YES!

Reading about her 84-year old mother, am longing to send Cheryl a link to my own mother's article about aging.  But there's no contact info.  Arrrrgggghhhh! 

Must content myself with being filled with gratitude for someone having the experience, talent & online outlet for sharing a message I long to shout from every rooftop!

One thing I constantly tell families drawing on all their inner resources to do & be their best for aging parents is - there's a gift.  I can't describe what the gift is, how or when it will present itself.  But there is definitely a gift.  When we give our best, with right attitude, for our parents, we are gifted in return.  

Part of the gift happens when the oldster is still with us, the part we can see. The seemingly endless opportunities to "do it better next time."  The increased capacity to forgive the other - and ourselves.  The lessons in patience, caring & loving.  The ability to live, every day, "Honor thy father & thy mother, that thy days may long upon the land with the Lord thy God gives you."  

Part of the gift comes after they are gone. That part is unique for each of us.  But, if we give of ourselves from right attitude, it will be given.  

My heart melts, reading her close.  It takes everything in my heart & shares it with the world - 
"It is remarkable that a person in his seventies could inaugurate the ending of the Cold War or serve as ambassador to France. But it is also remarkable what can be contributed from the confines of a rocking chair while saying not a word."

What a perfect response to Dr. Emanuel's imperfect paper!