He shared two incredible tips that helped make the conversation stay focused & produce the effect I sought. The first was - Never tell what you want to talk about. Let the person know you have something important you want to discuss, set up a get-together, but do not - EVER - disclose what it is about. Do not even hint, not so much as the faintest suggestion. Your whole purpose is compromised when you do.
And others WILL try to get you to give at least an inkling. That's human nature. They will generally do whatever they can to get us to jump the gun. Don't. Be willing to walk away with no discussion rather than buckle. Just keep saying, "If I wanted to talk about it on the phone, I'd have brought it up right now. I want to talk about it with you in person."
You might sound like a broken record, but stay on target, know your boundaries, and stick to them. You are NOT being a "hard ass" - you are being one smart cookie who cares more about the value of what you need to share than the short-term release you get caving in.
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Bearing Witness
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