Oh, please pledge that you will never ever bring up a sensitive topic - especially one that family members have been ducking - at any sort of festive family gathering!
I did that with my sister-in-law ~ disastrous results.
Peter & Mike & their wives came to dread dinner invitations from my parents, since that was when they'd spring difficult news. It got so Peter dreaded a dinner invitation from Mom & Dad!
It was such a relief to learn in There's Something I Have To Tell You (aka Truth Without Fear) that funky human nature tends to peg social situations - parties, family gatherings & the like - as ideal places for sharing awkward or downright difficult information. WRONG! While the setting makes it highly unlikely the person receiving the news will respond in a negative way, so you feel safe, it's actual effect is just the opposite, exponentially increasing negative vibes & bringing up emotional blocks to even hearing the information, then or ever.
Am not a psychologist or any sort of counselor, but can say for sure that this one bit of insight continues to stand me in good stead. It helps me paus before bringing up potentially distressing topics at awkward times, but also helps me deal with it when I am the one being told a dreaded something. At those times, I let the other know I appreciate the importance of the topic, then suggest we agree on a better time & place to discuss IT. So far, it's worked pretty well.
There is a time & place for very thing. Family gatherings & social events are wrong, on so many levels. Let parties, at-home dinners, meals out be fun & relaxing, memorable only for good times!
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