Which is why it has such power for me. It is a book of stories, of stories about Mid-Westerners making their way across the unknown terrain of aging.
Yes, it is limited in scope because it doesn't sample demographics from across the country. For me, it's power is in being what it is - a book written by a psychologist who lives & has established her practice in Nebraska. It is what it is.
Which is why Mary's stories, as simple as most are, have such power. They are real, unpretentious, with no intent to present THE ANSWER(s). Just to help show a bit of what is terra incognita for most of us.
As I read deeper & deeper into the book, I am reminded more & more of Still Here, by Ram Dass. His book also relies heavily on stories that illuminate rather than instruct. Like Mary, he informs & expands our awareness of aging, rather than setting out steps to take to address growing old. Which might seem a waste of time for anyone who wants a prescription rather than a better understanding. But when we are heading toward an unknown country, one where we've never been & which we've heard some pretty tall tales about that leave us quaking, an overview, an impression of what to expect will do more for helping alleviate our fears than being handed a AAA road map.
“Those who tell the stories rule the world.” – Native American proverb
A story well-told goes beyond informing - it helps the listener & the teller appreciate what is being shared. Of course, every story is limited by the story teller's particulars.
Mary Pipher writes from the soul of a woman raised in the heart of our country, whose large extended family touched & touches her life in so many ways, who got her under-grad at UC/Berkeley & her PhD at the University of Nebraska/Lincoln, whose clients are mostly Mid-Westerners, who brings a trained psychologist's eye to everything she sees & experiences.
Ram Dass (Richard Alpert) is Boston born & bred, attended a toney private school, got degrees from Tufts & Wesleyan & Stanford (his PhD, also in psych), taught at UC/Berkeley (!) then Harvard, was dismissed due to encouraging his students to use drugs, traveled to India where he received the name we know him by best - all of that informs influences infuses his stories.
I am a small town girl with a degree from a small town college living in a small house in a small neighborhood with a small but treasured circle of friends, all of which affects my story telling. And I believe that my stories contain the same power to affect any given person as Mary or Ram Dass.
It's true, my life experience is teeny compared to theirs - but they never knew Grandma Rose or Miss Cornelia, "Aunt" Gay or Uncle Paul, Benita Odhner or Hubert Synnestvedt. They can't share their stories about them & the other epic elders that were my role models & mentors for lives well lived. Those are stories only I can tell.
The ability to talk with & counsel oldsters - or anyone - isn't in my tool kit. The loving willingness to listen, to be a friend, to share stories that might illuminate & possibly halve pain or at least shift burdens - those are things that I can do, things that are as much my strengths as Mary's ability to advise her clients or Ram Dass' ability to shed light for his readers.
I am a storyteller. They might be little stories, compared to Mary Pipher's & Ram Dass'. But they are mine & they ache to be shared. There is great power in that.
“After nourishment, shelter & companionship,
stories are the thing we need most in the world.”
Philip Pullman
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