How many times did Brenda describe the big chair Mom sat in as "in the Stickley style"? And, looking at this picture, it is indeed very Stickley in its style - but with cozier cushions.
Reading Wendy Lustbader's It Gets Better, am being constantly reminded of Mom. Not the woman who drove me around the bend (in the interest of full disclosure, I did the same to her), but the one who transformed lives simply by breathing on the same planet at the same time.
Mom loved the frequent parties at Squirrel Haven or when I'd have a craft workshop. She'd sit in her chair & enjoy talking to all the younger folks, in the case of craft workshops significantly younger. Mom thrived on talking to all ages for friends. She had a rare talent for connections, which she built on & nurtured.
One of the advantages of her chair's broad arms was they were perfect for letter writing. Mom kept a box of stationery, a pen & stamps tucked at the back of the left arm, within easy reach for dashing off a quick note to Peggy or Ellen, Dot or Bets, Kerry or Candy. It was rare that a week went by without her getting something in the mail from them or one of the many other friends & family with whom she kept in touch.
Wendy quotes a retired surgeon, who sounds remarkably like what Mom might have said about her relationship with youngers - - Younger people generally want to articulate their own ideas, rather than hear from an old workhorse like me. Sometimes they show me a thing or two. But then they reach a point where they want to know what I know, and I'm happy to provide it.
That got me thinking about Mom, sitting in her big chair, meeting the parents of the children out in the dining room, crafting with me. They'd talk to Mom as they dropped off or picked up their kids. Kris & Val, Andrea & Pam are just several of the moms she connected with as she edged into her nineties, friendships that meant the world to her & them.
To again quote Wendy, inspiration flew abundantly in two directions at once, "as the heft of long experience meets the freshness of inexperience. Graced by fellow feeling, the responses pick up steam. Finding common ground in another becomes the basis of exciting interchanges, along with divergences that spark debate. In the best of circumstances, the roles of teacher & student - giver & receiver - move back & forth in a mutually welcome & creative flux."
Am thinking of Mom in her big Stickley-style chair, but also of Wayne & Eunice Zeigler. "Mom" & "Dad" Zeigler have a similar gift for friendship fellowship connection. Until I started writing this, hadn't realized how much they have been on my mind - they are always in my heart. Just as my friends benefited from connection with Mom, however brief it might have been, so I have benefited from the mutually welcome & creative flux between myself & Dave's parents. Sorry to take this posting completely off track, away from Mom sitting in her big chair, but have to go where my heart takes me, out to Iowa & two people who are dear to my heart, to their family (which they always make me feel is mine, too) & friends. Wrapping them in love.
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