Taking as long as it takes

 

Was it twelve or thirteen years ago that I crumpled to John, marveling at his continued good nature in the face of the improbable collapse of my professional - aka income producing - life & my struggles to get back to solid ground.  "It's taking as long as it takes," was my beloved's simple, straight-to-the-core response.

Let time be time.  Without the artificial constructs we humans place on it to feel more...  whatever.  John, in his answers, took seconds minutes hours days months years decades right out of it.  They weren't even mentioned.  Let experience roll out in its natural time.         

Twelve or thirteen years ago, and I remember it still.  Remember the calm voice he used, without a hint of concern or comfort.  No emotion, no editorializing.  Just reality.

It takes as long as it takes.

One of my mother's greatest graces was her forever awareness of that very fact.  She let time unfold, rather than measuring it by clocks or calendars. 

That was true throughout her life.  Mom never seemed to doubt that every moment of her life was meant to be lived to the fullest extent possible.  Yes, she benefited from having two younger people at her beck & call (and vice versa).  We took great pleasure in removing obstacles from her path forward, but that wouldn't have made any difference if MOM wasn't eager to press forward. 

"Semper Perge" - that was the motto on the her high school Class of '28 banner.  Always forward.  That is part of Mom's legacy, the awareness that there is always something up ahead toward which we should reach.  

Fifteen years ago, I asked Mom what she'd say to her graduating Class of 1928 or the Class of 2000.  Knowing what I know now, her answer makes  spot-on advice for my older friends, too many of whom feel like life's passed them by, who buy into the disengagement theory  & believe it's natural for them to increasingly withdraw from society as they edge toward 100, who don't realize that life - whether short or long - takes as long as it takes. That it's meant, from first breath to last, to be full of wonder learning joy.

Elsa asked me what I would say to the graduating Class of 1928 or 2000 for that matter, if I had the chance.  

 I would tell them what my father always said, "When you stop learning, you are dead."  

 I would tell them to continue their education, whether in college or not.  Some of the "brightest and best" people with degrees and advanced degrees know squat compared to less "highly educated" folks with a good sense of people and common sense.   

That they should welcome change.   

To not give themselves airs, to take themselves lightly.  

 In short, remember "Semper Perge" - -"always forward."