Skit-tish ~ calling out bullying

During last week's National Center for Creative Aging Conference & Leadership Exchange, it was my pleasure during a break to hear two gifted drama therapists talk about skits they'd written & performed for young audiences that address bullying.  Words fail to describe my feelings when I asked if they'd created skits for older audiences depicting elder-on-elder bullying - and both looked at me in complete surprise.  Elder-on-elder bullying?  One of them laughed & recalled being the victim of an older woman bullying her, pushing ahead in line with the excuse, "I'm OLD."  

So many people hear about family members who bully older relatives or abusive "care"givers, but it continues to amaze me how many seem startled at the thought of senior-on-senior bullying.  Make that astonishes.  At it's core, bullying is about exerting control, often by those of any age who feel some natural lack of it in their own lives.

Over the past few years, I've seen open bullying initiated by people who are supposed to be friends with their victims.  And stunned to discover that their very nice senior residence has no policies in place to deal with it, don't even have safe ways of reporting incidents.  They seemed taken aback at the thought it was even possible.  Where have they been?! 

Article after article after article has been written about bullying of older people by their peers. Enough that the potential shouldn't be a surprise to engaged family & loved ones, let alone elder care professionals.  Yet, my friend's residence not only lacks any standards in place to address it, none of the residences under the same umbrella organization have one.  

That being so, guess it makes sense that my drama therapist friends were clueless about the sorry plight of many - like my dear friend - who find themselves abused.  With my friend, it was intended as verbal & emotional abuse, but physical abuse is common, too.  I have seen apparently sweet old ladies rip apart a fellow resident braving the challenges of dementia by asking repeatedly, "What day is it?"  "What time is it?"  "Where is the auditorium?" - all questions she knows the woman can't answer.

The greatest surprise to me that came from attending the NCCA Conference was the discovery that being an inspired generalist puts me in touch with information that might be outside of a specialist's focus BUT is of immense interest, can possibly lead to a fresh perspective, startling new possibility.  Like wondering if my friends had created skits for senior living residences, facilities, organizations on recognizing addressing containing peer-to-peer bullying.  

Am hoping with all my heart that my new friends help call out elder-on-elder bullying by using drama to give its horrors a face & its victims a voice.