Here is a truly twisted situation - the people who are typically responsible to support friends & family with a lot of years under their belt are typically the worst ones to provide it.
Studies have shown that people tend to be their happiest at the beginning of their lives and as they near the end. Who tends to be the most unhappy, the ones with the most dire view of inching up there in years? Those in their middle years. And what a mess that can make, as they struggle with helping support their older loved ones' decisions or shoulder full responsibility for them.
Mom didn't need studies to tell her that - she knew it from personal experience. "Looking back, the toughest years were when my energies were beginning to flag and my body started slowing down. The proprium - sense of self - feels threatened as it becomes clear that an individual is far more than just the sum of physical parts. To get to the light, we have to work through the darkness."
No getting around it - my Mom was one smart cookie! I love how she described too many middle-ish youngers - as in that "hanging-on state," feeling the one invincible body start to decline, the ego rearing up in fury at being displaced by something... it's not sure what.
To my dear old Mater, as "middlers" move out of that confused befuddled afraid state, as we move more solidly into an awareness that we are not our bodies, then "the concepts of physical being, of time and relationships, are liberated."
To my dear old Mater, as "middlers" move out of that confused befuddled afraid state, as we move more solidly into an awareness that we are not our bodies, then "the concepts of physical being, of time and relationships, are liberated."
What WAS our Creator thinking, designing it so people at a low point on the happiness spectrum, with the greatest fear of decline & decay, are typically the ones having influence or holding sway over the care of oldsters elders ancients? It seems a truly twisted situation. Except...
Speaking from my own experience, from what I've seen in friends, when we middlers set aside our own ego to fully honor older loved ones (as well as the barely tolerated & negative issue laden) & clients, the more we can see a richness to their experiences & circumstances, the deeper & more resonant we can help them be. Maybe tying into the "that our days may be long..." promise in the 10 Commandments.
Speaking from my own experience, from what I've seen in friends, when we middlers set aside our own ego to fully honor older loved ones (as well as the barely tolerated & negative issue laden) & clients, the more we can see a richness to their experiences & circumstances, the deeper & more resonant we can help them be. Maybe tying into the "that our days may be long..." promise in the 10 Commandments.
It's not easy getting up there in age. Mom loved the Bette Davis quote - "Old age is not for sissies." The elderly CAN be cranky & quarrelsome & scared. But they likely are much more, if we have ears for hearing, the patience to be present, and the heart to love. I
It might feel like our Creator got some serious wires crossed in sketching out how we age upward, but stick with it. Whether you are somewhere in the middle & feeling overwhelmed (that's typical for your age; it gets better). ~or~ you're gliding upward - - give the ego a drop kick, experience the richness & new perspectives accessible because of the years.
It might feel like our Creator got some serious wires crossed in sketching out how we age upward, but stick with it. Whether you are somewhere in the middle & feeling overwhelmed (that's typical for your age; it gets better). ~or~ you're gliding upward - - give the ego a drop kick, experience the richness & new perspectives accessible because of the years.
Ideally, middlers & oldsters will twist their individual perspectives histories expectations together, conjoining with the other's, intertwining into a cord that can connect & wrap together their hearts.
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