Swing time

This week, I discovered that Steven Pressfield, who wrote The War of Art. also penned The Legend of Bagger Vance.  

In spite of watching & rewatching the Matt Damon/Will Smith film, pausing it to write down my favorite quotes, considering it one of the most deeply inspiring films I've ever experienced, never thought to discover the roots of the film.  Turns out, its root discovered me.

It is as remarkable a read as I expected.  And it made me realize something basic about what I do, interacting with friends of all ages, with students back in my teaching days, with clients & co-workers at US Healthcare - Prudential - BISYS, particularly with my family.  My greatest hope was to help each & everyone connect with their Authentic Swing.  Not parrot back what I said or thought or wanted - to connect with their deepest place.   

One of the greatest things I learned doing creativity workshops for kids tweens teens was to let them do their own project.  My sole purpose was to provide the space materials support for them to let it out.  That was a big & not easy to swallow lesson, learned & relearned at every workshop.  Their will, not mine.

 

It's what I wanted more than anything for Mom, who - after a childhood of being encouraged to be herself - was emotionally beaten down in young adulthood.  She rediscovered her Authentic Swing with Dad.  They each encouraged & nurtured the other's authenticity, which made for a powerful partnership.  But when he died, so did her sense of assurance in her swing.  

Mom remembered her Authentic Swing because of a lot of people, a lot of experiences, a lot of learning & awakenings, rediscoveries.  It was always there, those of us who loved her were blessed by glimpses of it all her life, but in those last few years, when SHE finally reconnected with it - - what joy to recall her bliss in rediscovering her grip, her positioning & all that went into being all that KATHARINE REYNOLDS LOCKHART held, in her heart & ours.

It's not something that anyone can SHOW someone - they're going to remember it on their own or not.  All any of us can do is provide space materials support, then let them do what they will.  


That's my greatest hope, interacting with older friends.  Celebrating their Authentic Swing, even helping some remember theirs. Feels like many of my older friends have forgotten their swing, while a few might never have found it at all.  Helping them swing away helps with my journey discovering my own. 

I've had glimpses of it, felt the exhilaration that comes from my swing connecting solidly with something of value, feeling it fly soar land.  But truly connecting with my Authentic Swing?  It's not something I can DO, only something I can prepare to have revealed.

 

From effortful activity comes effortless shift - those words of David Richo have been very much in my mind & heart over the past few weeks.  I think about a golfer, amateur or professional - who puts in hours & hours of practice to play a good game, much more to play a great one.  And while they are conditioning the body, learning stances, working on their swing, the actual determination of whether they are good or great comes from something other than all their efforts.  Their efforts open the way for that whatever to happen, but they have no control over it.  They have control over the effort, but the shift - the shift comes from some other, out-of-reach place.

Helping others connect with or remember their Authentic Swing as I work on  mine - - can't think a better way to describe my deepest life's work.  Looking back, it's clear it always has been, from my youngest days.  Even as a kid, my hope was for others to speak from themselves rather than be in agreement with me.  Alas, I was born into a family where - for reasons still outside my understanding  - that seemed to be experienced as negative.  Took me decades to realize it's actually pretty cool.  

It's why I loved teaching 6th grade - kids were truly coming into their own, before the sturm & drang of 7th grade.  What fun, helping them see the value of their own view, their own ideas! 

It's what kept me on even keel teaching at-risk high school students - helping them realize & respect that they had an Authentic Swing all their own.  Helping them remember something the hard knocks of their young lives has made them forget, made it preferable to forget.  The looks on their faces as they finished a project that came from an authentic place in themselves, when they fielded a question that made them THINK, asked a comment that showed insight perception understanding - those faces are with me still.  

I don't play golf.  Am learning that it is a game that's played as much against self as it is against another.  Learning that although I've never played, my heart's set - always has been - on helping others (and ultimately myself) find that swing that's not perfect but is authentically our own.