ENGAGE - ENERGIZE - EMPOWER

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Missing from the table

What do elders bring to the table that is so sorely sorely missed in today's world?  Their priceless deep experience, their sense of history, their awareness of intentions set v. goals achieved - and unintended consequences, good & bad.  A depth, a richness, a sense of place.  Perspective & an appreciation of the long view, the potential danger of short term gains v. long term consequences.  They've been on the roller coaster countless times.  And they have stories to share, experiences which - if heard with open hearts & absorbed into our consciousness - can help us avoid perilous pitfalls.  Or at least just have an engaging, interesting time!

Problem is, too many of today's younger folks consider older age, even deep experience, to be negatives.  

Some politicians believe their party should mute or rid itself of elder statesmen; to them, the younger, more inexperienced, less tainted by political experience, the better.  While this might yield a more idealistic politico, it can also end up in pretty dicey situations (it's no coincidence the senator spearheading the partial government shut-down had served for less than a year).

And the larger culture is pretty funky with how it views older age.  On the one hand, our life expectancy is considerably longer than when my parents were at the high end of middle age, yet we've lowered what is considered "senior citizen" - last night, I got into the movie theater at a reduced rate because 62 already meets the criteria. That is just plain weird.  Longer life expectancy, lower age we're considered "old."  

Don't get me started on age discrimination in the business world.  Yes, I suspect an unearthly hand moved behind my getting the boot out of the big bad corporate world - Mom always considered I was meant to expand lives, not portfolios - but once out, it's virtually impossible for anyone over 40 to get back in, no matter how gilt-edged, loaded-with-recent-honors & accomplishments your resume. 

I agree with the friend who wrote that today finds folks all over the place exhibiting "no experience, no history, no intention - just action."  Take a deep breath, everyone - from politicians to pundits, business leaders to first level managers, parents & newly weds, thirty-somethings & teens.  And take an older person - the older, the better - out for coffee & a gab, a sip & a nibble, drinks & dinner.  Be yourself.  Cultivate friendship.  Share your stories, be open to theirs.  Be open to hearing, not just listening.  Take the time to make a place for them at your life table.  Yes, it takes time, energy & that increasingly rare commodity - attention.  But what a richness, a diversity, a deeper awareness of what's happening, can be yours.  

Have the patience, the interest, the expectation of mutual benefit.  We all need it, the world needs it.   

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