It's rare that I dread finishing a book, but that's where I am reading through The Divine Art of Dying, a book unlike any other. Blessings on Herb Anderson for his inspired suggestion that Karen Speerstra, a friend who'd decided to halt treatments for her ovarian cancer, journal her journey to her last earthly moments, entries he built on & capped off with practical suggestions from the Caregiver's Guidebook.
The beautiful tenderness of Karen's words & Herb's commentaries sent me scurrying online, where I found this interview with Karen at her Vermont home, about six months after she decided to end her treatment, about another six before she died.
So startling, reading another's description of the approach to Karen's house, startled by how the place already felt familiar, thanks to the descriptions in Karen's journal. Seems that when the Speerstras first saw the property, 14 years earlier, she wondered to herself, "Wouldn’t this be a wonderful retreat for people recovering from something serious?" - little guessing that someone would be herself.
How wonderful that when the reporter arrived, Karen had just returned from a visit to a nearby nursery with her purchases - flats of annuals for Karen & her husband, John, to plant. Karen was all about expansive living!
It was in the previous December, struggling with the trek up to the house, that Karen realized the treatments were working against rather than for her. After 10 years of treatment, she decided she wanted to joyfully live - rather than inch - her way toward death.
How glorious that she'd just learned her book - Sophia: The Female Face of God - had received an award, recognized as a "better book for a better world." There are no accidents. What special joy that the last winner in her category had been Desmond Tutu!
Long before her diagnosis, Karen had given careful thought to death. An inspired realist, she acknowledges she doesn't really know what comes after, but believes there is something ~ “You will enter that void or it’s a space that you can’t define because it has no form; a deep, deep place.
You will wake up, but not in this dimension. There will be something
mysterious that happens, There’s a personality part of
us that will exist. You will have a different body: I think I’ll be 35,
I’ll have great hair and I’ll be very healthy.”
Reading Karen's journal entries, reading this interview, found myself thinking over & over about the George Brent/Bette Davis film, Dark Victory. It was the description of the petunias & other flats of annuals that Karen had just bought - they reminded me of Bette Davis planting flowers at HER Vermont farm, just before she died.
Remembered that scene & a great line she had in the film, spoken to her medical researcher husband - "Nothing can hurt us now. What we have can't be destroyed. That's our
victory - our victory over the dark. It is a victory because we're not
afraid."
Great line - one that Karen could have written!
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