The pitfalls of pedestals

Monday's inspiration from Daily Om was an article Madisyn Taylor, Putting People on a Pedestal - allowing our loved ones to be human.   

The highlighted opening - "When you put somebody on a pedestal it is giving away your power and saying you are not good enough." - gave me immediate pause.  In my experience, being put on a pedestal can be, often is, about taking away the power of the person put atop that perch.  

Years ago, I had experience with someone who put me on a pedestal because that way she didn't have to deal with any of the fuss & bother that comes with having a normal relationship.  Frustrated at my inability to change the inequality, I cried out to my husband, "But I never wanted to be on a platform."

My wise John looked at me with tender eyes & replied, with spirit-restoring understanding, "That's true - you always want to share a platform."

That's my Keet - saying in a few words what I couldn't manage in dozens.  

When we put others on pedestals, we place ourselves below them, outside their easy reach.  What looks like idealized elevation actually keeps them safely beyond reach.  By putting them on pedestals, we too often romanticize connection-destroying distance.

Madisyn points out, "When we treat the people we love with this awareness, we actually allow for a much greater intimacy than when we held them aloft on an airy throne. The moment you see through your idealized projection is the moment you begin to see your loved one as he or she truly is."   

 

Alas, my experience is people often seem ferociously afraid of others seeing just that - their true selves.  Up there, on the pedestal, they are out of sight of fearful flawed us down below.   

The article closes with, "We cannot truly connect with a person when we idealize them. In life, there are no pedestals—we are all walking on the same ground together. When we realize this, we can own our own divinity and our humanity. This is the key to balance and wholeness within ourselves and our relationships."

Spot on!  Once we recognize the pitfalls of pedestals, when we realize the most wholesome place for all of us to be is "walking the same ground together," all of us are encouraged by each other to be at full power.  

That sounds simplistic & obvious, but - as Madisyn points out - we must be on our guard about the perils of pedestals.  Human nature seems more inclined to self-sabotage than empower.  Funky, but true. 

   

Credits:
1) instone.com
2) 1stdibs.com
3) grazitti.com