What I - we - bring to the table

In the midst of this weekend's East Coast snowmaggedon, I had the unexpected opportunity to think about what I - often John & I tandem - bring to the elder care table.  What we bring, what we don't.

First off, what we don't.  Anyone who's looking for transportation to & from, for traditional in-home care, certainly for light housekeeping & dog walking services, should absolutely look elsewhere.  Not only will you be able to find someone happier to do those things, they will also be a heck of a lot cheaper. 

From the day I formally started my elder care anarchist solutionist activities, have described what I do as, "You've heard of in-home care?  I do get-'em-out-of-home care."  At 63, I don't have any time to dilly-dallying with things that are not my strengths.

When it comes to providing creative, compassionate elder support, John is definitely right up there as a key differentiator & strength. There are certain things he's never going to master, because... well, he's a guy.  Pardon for being sexist, but I've come to accept that there are certain things that most women would pick up on immediately that he's not going to figure out if it hit him over the head.  So, let that go.  Run with the things he excels at - being an indispensable 2nd pair of hands, the genuine pleasure he takes in being with our older friends, the fun conversations he helps get rolling.  Just being John having a good time, not with us out of obligation.

 

There are older friends who will never ever hire me, balking at what they think of as my high rates (which are laughingly low). It's not the money that bothers them so much - they will never ever shell over money so I can do things that I find clearly so enjoyable.

Now, that's the very thing for which I should be paying top dollar. It's the very thing that made one family voluntarily raise my rate from the rock bottom amount I had been charging to what I currently charge, which they've made clear they still consider bargain basement.  My hourly rate plus mileage & reimbursement, when they apply.  They consider my our time with their mother worth every penny BECAUSE both John & I have a genuine blast.  

Both John & I were close to our moms (our fathers both died in their early 60s), mothers we miss more than we can say.  Hanging out with oldsters & elders helps fill holes in our lives.  Older friends feel that & it feels good!

 

Friends & families who bring me on board get John, too - at no additional charge, other than meals if we're going out.  He is worth every penny. In addition to what I've already described, being there means I can drop them off close to the restaurant or movie theater or event, he escorts the client in & they get settled while I park the car.  Makes things go incredibly smoothly.

One of these days, I'm going to be free to charge something closer to what I am worth.  If that sounds like arrogance, it's not.  The truth isn't arrogant.  

I bring to the table a lifetime of hobnobbing with elderly people, neighbors in my little hometown from back in the day when all the local kids knew all the adults, when the widows & older single ladies - Miss Ashby, Miss Phoebe, Miss Creda, Miss Erna, Miss Phyllis ... - would invite us in for a glass of milk & cookies, when we TALKED with them.  Friends of my mothers, people like Miss Cornelia & Benita Odhner & Viola Ridgeway , who were at least twenty years older than Mom.  "Grandma" Rose would be over 125 years old, if she were still alive - every Friday, Mom would join "Grandma" & three or four older ladies for cocktails before heading out to the weekly community supper.  I learned a lot in my twenties, sitting there & soaking in their conversations & wisdom. 

I bring to the table decades of reading about personal & group & family dynamics, focused for the past dozen years on elder care issues.  I've developed an extensive library, none of which I can lend out because they all have corners turned under, writing in the margins & yellow highlighter throughout the book.  When I find one that especially hits home, I read it a 2nd time; if it runs deep, I go through it a 3rd time, taking notes.

I bring to the table a modicum of awareness of what's happening in holistic elder care, sharing the books, articles, web sites that seem most valuable with others in the field who don't have the time or energy.  For all of my life, I've turned what might seem lack to my advantage - still do.  Unlike most of my friends, I don't have children or grandchildren, my nieces & nephews are a distance away.  That gives me the time to read & search & write.

I bring to the table a decade in education & over a quarter century in the corporate world, both of which stand me in incredibly good stead providing elder support.  

I bring to the table the willingness to invest money, time & energy going to conferences & workshops related to elder care, be it the Leading to Well-Being Conference in Falls Church, VA; the National Center for Creative Aging Conference & Leadership Exchange in Washington, D.C.; weekends at Kirkbridge Retreat Center, Omega, Rowe Conference Center.

Looking over all that, realize the one client's family is totally spot on ~~ $25.00 an hour is a steal for what I - we - bring to the table!

Credits:
furnidraft.com
ishbzdl.com
2016youge.tk
queensofvintage.com
archieexpo.com
schragblog.com