If there was one gift I could give my older friends, it would be a sense of confidence that their present moment lives are of great use. So many of them seem to doubt it. Too many don't see that every age has its advantages & opportunities & tasks that are meant to be accepted & fulfilled.
Confidence that we are here for a purpose can give us peace. Peace that what is happening in the here & now has meaning.
The challenge is that what we've been raised to value drops away in older age, especially significant older age. Gone is the youthful body, the person making his or her way in the world, the supportive child & busy parent. Can feel like the person we once felt confident being has crumbled away.
It seems to me, remembering such friends as "Grandma" Rose & Viola Ridgeway & Hubert Synnestvedt & Cornelia Stroh, that the very things many see as decreptitude is actually stepping away from mere being & stepping into a greater spiritual self. All of them, and Mom, had younger people who looked up to them, enjoyed their company & sought their counsel. And none of them seemed the least bit OLD. Their faces were lined, their bodies (to quote Mom) were saggy baggy, but their spirit was young. Their confidence in being of use seemed unfailing, even as they "tripped the old-o-meter" into their upper 80s & 90s.
Peace is the natural by-produce of having the confidence that even the most difficult experience will ultimately be led to a good end. Each of those older friends seemed to embrace & embody confidence in something larger than themselves.
Perhaps the biggest factor in how people face life is believing in something more, something higher than just yourself. And if they do believe in something more, something higher, than that doesn't drop away simply because they can't get around like they once could or need to rely more on others for support or can't lend a hand as often.
If there is a purpose for us being here, other than getting through each day, then that purpose continues to our last breath.
When we were five years old, we couldn't put our foot in our mouth, like we could as itty bitty babies - but we could run & talk & make friends. Would we want to give up our speech to get back our earlier flexibility? That would be silly! Where my older friends are, especially those who are significantly older, they now have the ability to develop our final great gift - wisdom. That takes experience & perspective & reflection. It takes letting being drop away & letting what intangible of true reality come to the fore. Seems to me - remembering my dear older friends - that older age isn't for producing or establishing or accumulating; it is for making sense of it all.
"Grandma" Rose & Viola Ridgeway & Hubert Synnestvedt & Cornelia Stroh - they are my role models for aging. They had their aches & pains & concerns, but they also had a core confidence that their life on this earth still had purpose. And that confidence gave them peace.
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