Take all these fears, add them together, and you still won't come close to the silent, unacknowledged but all-consuming fear people of all ages have about growing old in today's America.
When I was growing up, married couples feared being stuck with mother-in-laws along the lines of Darrin Stephens' mom or Endorra. Middle-class families making room for aging parents was a comic meme of the day.
Back then, younger folks were leery about growing older, becoming more dependent, but there wasn't the level of fear & anxiety that exists today about personally facing decreptitude dementia dwindle.
Our nation needs an unimaginable number of creative minds figuring out ways to restore a semblance of sanity & peace of mind to the country's wretched image of aging. Am proud to be thick in the fray of folks focusing attention on the need & potential solutions.
One approach I'm developing is a series of workshops on Developing a 5th Commandment Mindset, where all ages look at what it means to "grow old" in the USA circa 2016, especially in light of the sacred ancient call to youngers to make a difference in the lives of those we love & care about.
The big question facing me is when do I start? Middle age might seem a good time, but is actually far too late. As James Hillman points out in The Force of Character and the Lasting Life, "Our midlife encounter with old age is premature. One hasn't the perception yet that can fathom its (old age) images, so that the answer one finds in midlife mainly reflects our fears."
The best way to inoculate ourselves & others against the fear of aging is to have regular contact with older friends & loved ones, to see them living vibrantly in natural settings - as I did, growing up in a small town. Those opportunities rarely exist in this day & age, with so many retirees moving away from their longtime towns to more affordable places, with so many elderly going into "senior full-living communities" that segregate & too often enervate oldersters & ancients.
Thought about that today, reading about a program in Missouri that teams up young readers with shy shelter dogs:
"We started this for two reasons," JoEllyn Klepacki, the assistant director of education at the Missouri Humane Society, told ABC News today. "Dogs in a shelter environment exhibit a lot of signs of anxiety and show stress signals, so we wanted to do something to comfort them, and we have a lot of children in our area who are really engaged and they ask, 'How can I help? How can I make a difference?'"
The kids, ages 6 through 15, go through a training program that teaches them to understand the perspective of dogs in a shelter environment and how to read the dogs' body language.
"These dogs, if you had seen them before the kids sat down, these were the dogs who would stay at the back of their kennel, scared," Klepacki told ABC News. "The goal is to get the dog to come to the front of the kennel by the time they finish their book, or a few books."
Stress, anxiety, sense of isolation - all words all too often used to describe residents in even the very finest "worry-free" senior communities.
We are not going to wave a magic wand & suddenly change life circumstances to have more of our elderly living in their own homes or with children/loved ones, so what can we do to make the reality a heckuva lot better than it is now?
How about similar programs, teaming young readers with older people could be an promising step? Nothing slap dash. Well thought-out programs that nurture engagement, connection, enrichment for all.
The more young folk can see & value older people, the more they can see & reflect back that worth. Might not work miracles, but sure could make a difference helping reduce a sense of isolation, with the bonus of helping reduce, even eliminate, later fears of aging. Doggone great way for everyone to win!
Credits:
blogs.chapman.edu
bewitchedcontinuum.tumblr
sbcwheaton.org
athomereadinghorizons.com
abcnews.go.com
moda.totalfitness4you.com
huffingtonpost.com
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