There are people who look at me in horror when I describe Mom as evolving, in her final years, into an utter badass. "How can you think of your dear, sweet mother that way!"
And I immediately know they've never read Brene Brown's description, or else they'd know that Katharine Reynolds Lockhart was a total badass.
How can a term that sounds so raw describe a sweet little old lady in her late 80s, early 90s, who was famed far & wide for her kindness, generousity & caring? I leave it to Brene:
Badassery - when people stand fully in their truth, or when someone falls down, gets back up and says, "Damn, That really hurt, but this is important to me and I'm going in again' - that's a badass. (from The Stiletto Dialogue)
Oh, yeah - Mom was the total badass, from Day 1. Stuff happened along the way that made her deny deny deny, but it was always in there, waiting for her extreme later years to fully emerge.
My favorite description of a badass is found in the Urban Dictionary, submitted by runawaytrain...
Unspoken Rules of Being Badass
1. First rule of being a badass. A badass does not talk about being a badass. Period.
2. Second rule of being a badass, a badass does not try to be a badass or look tough. A badass simply is a badass.
3. A badass stays true to themselves, always. This means being themselves for themselves, and not being fake to impress others.
4. A badass does not give up. Badasses will always push themselves for the better, no matter how hard it gets.
5. A badass is not a jerk. A badass does not prey on the weak, and shows kindness in return to those who are kind.
6. A badass knows his/her limits. Don't be stupid, you're not Superman, you'll die if you jump off a building.
7. A badass does not make enemies or go looking for fights. They do not fights that aren't worth fighting either.
Mom was a total badass when Mim & I asked her to come down with us to an Apollo moon launch & she insisted that she would only go if she could pay her own way, if it didn't require a penny of Dad's money - which seemed whacked-out to the rest of us, since she brought in zip income.
She was a total BA on her seven trips to Australia between the ages of 65 & 85.
Total BA when she dressed in an evening gown to go out after midnight with Mim et moi to a diner for pie & coffee. (In bed in her room, she heard us making plans for the foodie foray, wanted to go without the bother on pulling on a girdle & hitching up stockings).
Portrait of a BA as we trekked to & from DisneyWorld via coastal & mountain routes, when she was a lass of 87.
Countless times of badassery, with her BA high point being when - at 88 - she picked up the phone to call a psychologist to say, "I haven't a clue about who I am. I need your help finding out."
For many years, Mom joked that she wanted her tombstone to read, "She tried." No way - should read "Katharine Reynolds Lockhart - beloved wife, devoted mother, adored sister, treasured friend & total BADASS."
No comments:
Post a Comment