Routine & ritual

Not that long ago, all too often the last thing I did before heading up to bed was to read something online.  Did not make for a good night's sleep!

What a difference from my parents' nightly routine.  The last thing they did before dowsing the light was to read from the Bible & The Writings, to say their prayers - together.  

That was typical for many, if not most, in their generation, whatever the faith.  Read from about spiritual matters, say prayers, go to bed.  That was a routine my mother followed for all of her days, that stood her in remarkably good stead after Dad died so young (63) & she lived so long (91).

 

John & I rarely go to bed at the same time.  Being an artist, he's developed strange hours that work well with his creative muse, but out-of-whack with his wife's norm.  So different from my parents, who went to sleep & got up at the same time.

Been thinking about the power that developing daily routines & rituals held for Mom during her long years alone.  Got me to wondering how many of us youngers are developing similar patterns that can give us comfort when if how our lives are set on end.  John & I haven't.  Oh, there are things we regularly do together, but nothing we do on a daily basis, for a higher reason than sharing a meal or watching something.  

 

Every time my parents read the Bible together or said their prayers in unison, every time we said "O give thanks..." as a family before each meal, it was a spiritually enriching experience, drawing them & us together in ways that transcended home school community life.  It was more, much more.  And it lasted, even long after Dad slipped from us.

What practices did my parents develop throughout their marriage that helped sustain Mom over the 25+ years she was alone?  What practices actually helped her feel somehow NOT alone?  And what can John & I do to help bring similar practices into our marriage, our everyday life?  How can we prepare, together, for a life apart?

That's a ponder I'll take with me this weekend to The Great Turning gathering up at the Kirkridge Retreat Center in Bangon, PA (about 2 hours from home).  

Have been to workshops & conferences about aging, but this is my first gathering of oldsters & elders.  What wisdom can I glean about building a relationship that's strong enough to handle whatever is thrown at it, even loss & separation?  What routines & rituals have they developed to help themselves as individuals, as partners, as family & community members?  

My mind & heart are open to receive learn apply.