Fear Wisely

 

WOW - some form of the phrase FEAR NOT appears in the Old & New Testaments no fewer than 365 times!  How amazing that I didn't learn that until my late forties!  It's uplifting inspiring exhilarating.  

And yet...  The older I get, the more it gives me pause.  Perhaps it's arrogant to edit God, but it feels like a better phrasing would be FEAR WISELY.   Because there is an essential place for healthy, balanced fear in our lives.  It's wise to be afraid of lung cancer & not smoke or of getting hit by a car, so you take care to cross at the light - these dangers are real & we should pay attention to our fears, taking appropriate steps to avoid them.  

Too many of us focus on unhealthy fears rooted in delusion - twisted ways of looking at our self, our environment, our world.  

Most of the fears that grip millions of people are out of their control, yet feel like they control their lives.  Fear of Ebola, of terrorism, of different political religious cultural beliefs, to name just a few.  

Today's elderly are especially vulnerable to becoming engulfed by unhealthy fears.  So many are practically addicted to watching hour upon hour of 24-hours news shows that play endless loops of the same negative or flat-out horrific news stories over & over & over again.

I can testify to the impact of the barrage of negative news.  Last week, I was uncharacteristically curt while dining with older friends at our favorite eating spot in their senior residence.  John couldn't figure out why I became snippy, sharp & even brusque toward the end of supper.  I couldn't fathom why my mood had turned so dark, until I realized...

All through dinner, an oversized television monitor directly in my line of sight was tuned to CNN.  While my attention was focused on my older friends, the closed-captioned Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer had played havoc with my subconscious. 

Nemtsov Assassination!  Jihadi John!  Teenage Girls Joining ISIS!  Netanyahu Controversy! Talks with Iran!  Missouri Man Kills 7!  Major Winter Storm Threatens to Cripple Northeast!  DOJ Report on Ferguson!

My head was messed up & I wasn't even aware my mind had taken any of it in.  Imagine if I 'd been focused on the programming?  Imagine if it had been Fox, instead of CNN?!

It's always been hard to steer people who are edging into elderly away from unhealthy fears.  Strange but true - there is a perverse energy from negative excitement that can give people, especially the elderly, a welcomed sense of drama & even purpose in a life that seems increasing devoid of both.  Today, with so many with so little to do & such a temptation to sit & stew in front of a television, the challenge threatens to get out of control.  

Compounding the challenge is that it can feel damned if you do, damned if you don't.  While unhealthy fears frequently result in chronic depression, being liberated from them can end in depression, too, due to the loss of energizing drama & sense of (false) purpose! 

How can we help our older friends & loved ones, with hours & hours of "free" time weighing them down & too often little sense of purpose, nurture wise fears & release unhealthy ones?  Since it's a reality we all expect to face someday, few challenges are so worth our time & energy & resources to solve!