For several days, have been pondering how often people seem to think that the best way to stave off the challenges of older age is to extend middle age as long as possible. The media seems abuzz in the next proposed end run around growing older. That qualifies as some of the dorkiest thinking EVER, worthy of a booming, "D'oh!"
This new aha came when checking out Jo Ann Jenkins recently published book, Disrupt Aging, which I had the good sense not to buy. Its vaunted goal of disrupting aging by extending middle age - considered by experts to be the most miserable period of our life - seems flat-out foolish to me.
Sadly, there are a lot of people who will take the book to heart. Hey, it's a best seller, so it must be great! And, look - it promises to show how we can take control of our health, choose where we live, make our money last & put our life experience to work.
Yes, it speaks to our deepest desires, soothes our greatest fears. It's made to be a blockbuster. But is it wise? Does it help us inch ever upward in age, or does it offer ways to hold off the old? Does it play off our fears & desires without something truly substantial?
How I'd dearly love to direct Ms. Jenkins to what my dear old mater had to say about growing older, particularly about middle age:
When I was a young whippersnapper of 50 and 60, I did not think much about what life would be like if I lived to be a ripe old age. If I had, it would have fallen short of the mark, nowhere near what my experience has been, especially as I tripped the "old"ometer into my nineties.
A favorite saying of mine for many moons is "Old age ain't
for sissies." Actually, managing to get to 90 relatively sound
of heart, mind and body (or any one or more of those three) indicates
some grit. As I inch closer toward triple digits, being old has
gotten a lot easier. Somewhere around my late 80s, I began to see
the humor and humanity more in things, to take upsets less personally and
put them more easily into perspective.
Looking back, the toughest years were when my energies were
beginning to flag and my body started slowing down. The proprium -
sense of self - feels threatened as it becomes clear that an
individual is far more than just the sum of physical parts. To get to the
light, we have to work through the darkness. Moving out of that
hanging-on state to one of accepting that the body is a temporary shelter
designed to house our eternal soul could be compared to moving out of
darkness and confusion toward lightness and the light. Ideally, the
concepts of physical being, of time and relationships, are liberated as
we get older and older....
Just as little children look at their parents as really old,
not-so-young people can see their own parents as shutting down as we age,
going into some sort of benign hibernation It is true that nature
brings us, willingly or not, into more meditative states and slower
tempos. Am I bored to tears sitting in the big chair in the living
room or in my soothing rocking chair? No, it is surprisingly
rewarding. The problem is that young kids – looking through the
eyes of a still preening self - feel sad and think, "How dull her
life must be." Too many Ancient and near-Ancient Ones fall for that
line. Truth be told, growth keeps right on going, ideally right out of
the ceilings of our cramped opinion. This old biddy believes that the
Lord intends us to live fully - whatever our physical or mental condition -
right up to the moment we traipse across the threshold of our spiritual
home.
For whatever reason, growing feeble, infirm and even forgetful is
part of the Lord's grand scheme. As I edge closer toward
triple digits, it is easier to let go of time-bound prejudices and
expectations.
Sorry, this book is far from the "generational call to action we’ve been waiting for." (AARP press release) As for being a best seller - d'oh! Ms. Jenkins is the CEO of AARP! And she's a mere 58. When she writes about the glories of our "new extended middle age" she reveals that she's caught in "a still preening self" that can't fathom the benefits of moving beyond the miseries of middle age, "right out of the ceilings of our cramped opinion."
Jo Ann Jenkins' book will be read by all the right book clubs, she'll make the rounds of all the talk shows, write all the guest columns for all the right publications, but all of it won't change one basic reality - anyone who thinks that extending middle age is anything but catastrophic thinking is worthy of a super loud, "D'oh!" & having a big D for Dork written with a Sharpee on her forehead!
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