Best is best

Scout Oath   On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country & to obey the Scout Law; To help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight.

Scout Law   A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. 

Helen Keller - When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is being wrought in our life, or in the life of another.

 

The Scout Oath & Law & the Helen Keller quote have been on my mind a lot over the past week, especially last night when I was reminded that you can do your best & there will be times it won't be enough or maybe even the right thing at all.

 

The important thing to remember is that none of the above say "do the impossible."  Always doing the right thing at the right time in the right way isn't possible.  

 

As a dear friend's mother would say, "Get over yourself."  Do you best, then realize there will be times, lots of times, when it falls short of your intention.

 

Last night, I made valiant efforts to get an older friend OUT for supper.  It was snowing, but easy to get around by sticking to the main roads.  

 

My friend HATES spending Saturday nights all along.  Heck, she hates getting back from a Saturday outing before 9:00 p.m.!  We went to a favorite restaurant, she had a favorite meal topped off with her favorite ice cream.  

 

The drive home involved a little more caution, since snow turned to rain - but not freezing rain, which made the difference.  

 

My friend exited the car, all merry & bright, and waved off John's offer to walk her through the foyer, the main socializing area, the wide long halls down to her elevator, then up to her apartment.  

 

I should have insisted.  But it was long before the Saturday night flick would end, so I knew there'd be something going on in the auditorium & people watching when she walked past the auditorium's four doors.

 

But I made the wrong call. My friend was frightened by how empty the building felt.  When we got the first call, around 9:30 p.m., she was still experiencing the fear.  "What if I'd fallen & hurt myself & there wasn't anyone around to help?"

 

I did my best, made my best calls, both with going out & then letting her walk up by herself when John could have escorted her.  But they went awry.  It happens.

 

By the time we headed home, I was too tuckered to stop by a delightful event in my hometown.  Was getting ready for an early bedtime when the friend called, all in a dither, feeling like she'd been put at risk by people who were supposed to care about her.  

 

Tuckered out & feeling terrible about a frightened friend - how easy it would have been to zoom past regrets. straight to guilt.  And I didn't.  

 

Even as tired as I was. feeling disappointed over missing good times with treasured friends, and discouraged over my frazzed older friend, one reality stood out - I'd done my best.  

 

Maybe my older friend's needs have changed - in winter 2014, she wanted more than anything to eat out instead of in;  that might not be different in 2015.  Nasty weather didn't faze her last year;  maybe it is a factor, now.  We're going to have to talk about it.  But there was no way I could have guessed any of it BEFORE last night.  

 

Her last call came in at 10:30 p.m., restating loud & clear that she didn't want to go out to dinner again, that it left her too vulnerable.  There are a lot of responses I could have given, but the smartest one was to honor what she was saying in the moment.  I thanked her - again - for the call, reinforced how proud I was of her letting me know about her fears & expectations for the future, and didn't hang up until I heard a brighter tone in her voice.

 

Hey, I did my best.  A favorite episode of MASH focuses on Father Mulcahy going through a crisis of doubt when he takes an action that shocks himself.  The exchange between himself & Hawkeye is perfect exchange for anyone dealing with rambunctious children, surly teens, challenging adults, difficult contemporaries, unhappy olders & ancients, or personal moments of doubt.

 

Hawkeye - Father, why don't you stop punching yourself on the chin? - Pick on somebody your own size.
Father Mulcahy - I'm Christ's representative.  "Suffer the little children to come unto me."  " "Do unto others" I'm not just supposed to say that stuff.  I'm supposed to do it.
Hawkeye - All you're supposed to do is the best you can.
Father Mulcahy - Some best.
Hawkeye - Best is best.

 

How many Sunday sermons have been based on this exchange?  My guess is a lot.  It is right up there with Pere Henri's Easter homily in Chocolat for its simplicity & inspiration. 

 

The best advice I can give any of my friends or others needing support with the challenges of aging, their own or others, is to do your best.   

Let me go that one better, with a complete lift from the Pro Virtual Assistance web site.  The wording is too good to mess around with a fumbling paraphase: The most important commitment I made to myself is To Do My Best. And then let it go. As that renowned philosopher, Hawkeye (from MASH fame) said, “Best is Best.” And that’s all there is, there ain’t no more.


Spot on - scout's honor!