Bread crumbs

 

2:17 a.m. & wide awake.

When I was sleeping, kept rolling to my right, snug against John.  But for some reason, am "clicking" in my sleep - making little noises that wake up my hubster - so he keeps asking me to roll to my left, which is usually no big deal, except tonight I keep rolling back against him.  

Finally, couldn't go back to sleep at all.

Which lead me down an interesting, convoluted mental meander, which ended when I discovered bread crumbs from Mom.

One realization from this wee small hours adventure is that my post-6:00 p.m. patterns need to change.  Dinner needs to be over by 7:30 p.m., preferably 7:00 or even sooner.  Longer time to digest.  No food after 8:00 p.m.  And no computer, no dvd.  Radio is okay, pleasure reading is okay.  

PLEASURE reading - no Ai-Jen Poo or Fourteen Friends, not even Ram Dass or Reb Zalman.  Time to break out James Herriott, Ngaio Marsh (Agatha Christie - okay, P.D. James - no), Rosamunde Pilcher & Merry Farmer (but no Kindle).  

End my day with a walk around the block, with breath work  & meditation.

Nothing digital.  Except for wee small hours tip tapping, like this, which is time limited.

Practice practical mindfulness - give a quick wipe to all counter tops & the sink before turning out the kitchen light. 

An hour ago, laying in bed doing my best to drop back asleep, started pondering bread crumbs.  Weird, the thoughts that come when sleep won't.  

If Mom had been a fan of e-books, would never have left me any.  Instead, a few precious paperbacks in her library include priceless bread crumbs that her baby girl discovered, leading to a better understanding of how little I understood the woman I thought was an open book.  Page numbers jotted down on inside covers, markings on pages, small keys to a greater understanding of how Mom thought.  All discovered after her death.  Bread crumbs to a different version than I knew in life.

There are so many remarkable opportunities that are only now opening up to me.  Opportunities that exist thanks to having over six decades to look back over, seeing, "Hey, that really works!" & "That sure leads nowhere."  Some are clear, impossible to miss.  Others are found in unexpected bread crumbs.  All are lessons waiting to be learned & lived, lessons that will help me be snug asleep in the "tower bower" at 3:00, not signing off on a blog posting.