In her Lord Peter Wimsey - aristocratic sleuth - series, Dorothy Sayers includes a scene where Peter & the love of his life, Harriet Vane, discuss their different responses to life. For Harriet, when things went well, she was on edge waiting for them to fall apart. Peter, on the other hand, expected the best from life; when things did fall apart, he was confident they'd get better.
Was it life experience or something more intangible or a mixture of both that makes us look at life through Harriet's lens or through Peter's?
Looking back over my own life, can't remember a time when I didn't have full faith that life would, ultimately, turn out well. About fifteen years ago, Mom mentioned in oneof her Mindwalker1910 postings admiration for my "unshakeable belief in the possible, no matter what the odds." Very Peter, very not Harriet. It wasn't anything learned - the trait came at birth, part of my operating instructions.
Sadly, some people seem to have been born with Harriet's expectations, often intensified by life experiences. Although, having wretched experiences doesn't mean a sunny expectation will dim, no more than having wonderful ones will turn a gloomy one around.
One thing above all others helps me stay focused on the positive & possible - was blessed from birth with a deep love of nurturing things. Nurturing, not taking care of. Can't remember a time in my life when I thought, "I'll do this for these people & then they will like me." The things I did were because they needed doing. It never dawned on me that doing anything, even going out of my way or being seriously inconvenienced, would make others think better of me. My joy was in the doing. Still is. Doesn't make me a Goody Two-Shoes, just who I am.
Which is not to say I don't LOVE it when others nurture me right back. Honestly, it irks me when others take & never lift a finger to give back. It's the exchange of caring action that makes life work. Hey, I don't do things in order for others to return the favor, but it sure feels fabulous when someone enjoys nurturing ME! Little things go a very long way with me - always feel utterly pampered knowing that our bed will be beautifully made by my caring, nurturing John. It always thrills my heart.
There have been a lot of lows in my life, but I never lost faith they'd swing back up. Are some people magnets for good things? What seems more probably to me is that the folks who seem like they draw good things to them are the ones who SEE good in the first place.
Maybe that explains my joy working with older friends. Too many older people feel like their life is winding down, that there's only less to look forward to, nothing new or special or uplifting on the horizon. I believe that we are here to wring wonder out of every moment of our life, from first breath to last. That's not to say that things don't get challenging - they do. But being challenged doesn't mean that things are wrong. With challenge can come adventure, new discoveries, fresh outlooks.
Some people think of me as a Pollyanna, always looking on the bright side. While I embrace my Inner Pollyanna, I prefer to think of myself as like Peter, not rejecting difficult times when they arrive, but always waiting for them to turn around, for bright & better days to return.
That might sound too sunny skies & rainbows for some, but I hold by my Whimsy!
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