Out on this morning's walk, noticed we got a frost last night - but it still wasn't a hard frost, the sort that helps harden plants against the rigors of deep winter.
Looking up & seeing my MOM star, got me thinking about how I've barely had even a serious frost in my life - nothing like all the hard frosts she experienced in hers, that helped set the resiliency that would be needed for the grievous moments & tough times that hit.
An idyllic childhood turned into turbulent teens, as she watched her adored father's health fail. When his heart failed, Mom was 19. She lost her anchor & left as the primary emotional & financial support of a mother who is best described as a Gorgon.
The Stock Market crashed the same year, plunging the country into The Great Depression & sending Mom, Aunt Betty & Gran from their Baltimore home to her maternal grandmother's staunch Methodist home in the Germantown section of Philadelphia - and smashing Mom's plans to become a teacher.
Until Gran's death, Mom remained her primary, usually only, emotional & financial support. Gran repaid her by openly resenting Dad, stealing her wedding money, instilling in her devoted daughter an entrenched sense of being less than others that plagued Mom most of her life.
When Mom put Gran, who was by then senile, into a mental hospital, her uncle cursed her for betraying her mother. Mom had a nervous breakdown, which resulted in each of her children being taken in by a different family (I was the only one, at 3 years old, who was entrusted to a non-B.A. family).
In March 1959, her youngest son was killed in a shooting accident. That July, the business where Dad was a company officer burned to the ground & tge owner chose to sell the land rather than reopen.
Thirteen years later, Dad died. A couple years after that, someone she believed she could trust lost all the money Dad had left through stupid business dealings.
Hard frosts that could have killed a lot of spirits. But not Mom's. Although it took her a lot of years, her incredible - unrecognized by her - resilience finally lead her to seek counseling & gain a clearer picture of herself & act on/from that new awareness.
Mom came through those hoary frosts with the grit & determination that would ultimately put a back bone where her wish bone used to be.
Looking back at 63, it's clear my own frosts have been relatively light & of short duration. May I look to Mom's example of steadfast loyalty - first to persons, then to principles - and ultimate determination to reach down & dredge up my own reserves of resiliency perseverance accomplishment.
No comments:
Post a Comment