Elder abuse - spotting the signs

 

Perhaps I am hyper sensitive to emotional abuse because I experienced it for many years, know first hand how reluctant invested others can be to recognize, aknowledge & address it.  

It is a given that I will pin back the ears of anyone who attempts to emotionally abuse anyone in my presence - that goes double for older friends, most of whom would accept the abuse rather than make a fuss.
 
The other day, a fellow resident where a grannie client lives was openly abusive to my friend.  Oh, the woman would have wrapped herself in the mantle of "being helpful," but she slammed my friend for not using her walker, then went on to slam my friend's family for neglect.  I immediately moved full bore into her personal space & said in a hushed yet livid tone that if she had something critical to share, she could call me other & do so discreetly, out of my friend's earshot.  Bad went to worse, as she harangued my dear friend - who deals with memory challenges - "Do you remember what I said?  Do you remember what I said?"  

THAT is emotional abuse, cloaked in being "helpful."  

   

My thanks to HelpGuide.org for its excellent guide to spotting elder abuse and to Bucks County's Crimes Against Older Adults Task Force (CAOA) for an explanation of emotional abuse that should be required reading for ALL of us.    

Enough!  It's absurd that my older friend's "full service" senior residence apparently lacks any policies & procedures for reporting elder-on-elder bullying, apparently no programs in place for educating residents & staff about identifying & addressing incidents of abuse.  

Am contacting CAOA today for information on best next steps to help turn things around.

 

It was my honor & privilege to hear my dear older friend once stand up to an emotionally abusive fellow resident.  But that was rare for her, rare for the rest of the people where she lives.  The woman who earned my ire the other day has acted in similar ways with other residents, but who will stand up?  The downside is far more dire than just staying silent.  But enough is enough - time to find out what I can do to help set things right.  
  
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for the good to do nothing.  Am glad that I've written about it over the past year, but it's time to get really into the game & figure out what can be done to acknowledge, address & STOP it.