helplessness

learned help·less·ness

ˌlərnd ˈhelplisnəs/

noun

Psychiatry

noun: learned helplessness

1. a condition in which a person suffers from a sense of powerlessness, arising from a traumatic event or persistent failure to succeed. It is thought to be one of the underlying causes of depression.

    

Over the past years, I've spent A LOT of time in senior residences - particularly "continuing care retirement communities" that ballyhoo their residents have "no work, no worries."  Something that's clear to me, just looking around, just talking to my older friends & their cohorts, is that it's real easy to slip into a sense of imposed helplessness.  

Where are the studies, the articles on the woman who's taken pride in her house, who now lives in three or four rooms,  not on three of four floors; whose every housekeeping need is taken care?  The ones on the gardener or yardener who's lucky to get a tiny patch to tend, the fix-it guy & wood worker who no longer has his trusty work bench?

The couple renown for their dinner parties, who now restrict their entertaining to their residence dining room because their apartment is too small.  The fellow who took pride in doing automotive repairs & upkeep, who can no longer drive.  The lifelong reader who can no longer slog through the New York Times, let alone do its crossword puzzle.

What do we do to help our older loved ones not simply succumb to the imposed helplessness - and potential depression - that too often accompanies them to "independent living" communities?