Memory doula - a bend in the road

It dawned on me, thinking about my recent post on the fear & reality of being marginalized - as the elderly, the dependent, those with memory issues so often fear or sadly are - that we need to develop the role of a memory doula.  

Several of my friends are remarkable birth doulas.  Knowing what they do, the difference they make on so many levels, can easily imagine a similar support for people facing Alzheimer's & forms of dementia. 

What is a  doula?  They work closely with mid-wives & doctors, providing support for the expectant mom. They've been trained in childbirth - at a lower level than mid-wives & doctors - & their sole purpose is to proved emotional & physical support to expectant moms before, during & after birth.  The doula's goal is to help her experience a calming, assuring, uplifting & empowering experience throughout the closing weeks, the delivery & her first days with the new baby.  The doula is someone the expectant woman can turn to with questions.  Her sole reason-for-being is to maximize the experience for the mother.

 

The doula usually connects with her client several months before the due date.  The primary goal at this time - develop a relationship.  Establish a level of trust so the expectant mother - or father - feels free to ask any questions, to share concerns & fears.  Create a team of the mom-to-be, the doula, the mid-wife or doctor, any other related specialists or support personnel.  

Doulas don't provide any medical care.  However, they are intimately familiar with the many aspects of ante-partum, delivery, and post-partum care.  Whereas others will provide the medical services, the doula will help the parents-to-be ~ especially the mom ~ get a fuller understanding of the various procedures, including potential complications.

Throughout the delivery, the doula is nearby at all times.  They can provide comfort with pain relief techniques, including breath work, relaxations techniques, massage & laboring positions.  The doula encourages participation from the partner, offering both reassurances as the labor continues.  After delivery, it's often the doula who educates the mother on breastfeeding processes and who nurtures a sense of bonding between the baby & the parents & other family members.  

The doula is meant to be a complement  - not replace - the husband or partner, who are free to either serve as birth coach or help with providing comfort/pain relieve or just observe.

 

NOW - imagine that same sort of support for people diagnosed with one of the forms of dementia.  Someone trained to be support for the person, to be his or her advocate, to help provide the stimulation that's essential to staying engaged, knowledgeable, who can advise on a range of related matters, who can recommend relevant professionals who can help expand rather than diminish life experiences, who is a trusted friend as things progress, who is primarily there for his or her client but someone the family can turn to, who can point all affected parties to the right professional to help with the challenges that arise.

We need memory doulas, trained professionals who have the gift & grace of helping people with a dementia or Alzheimer's diagnosis.  People whose sole purpose is to provide a calming, assuring, uplifting & empowering experience, a trusted presence who is trusted friend & advocate for the client, who is there in good days & dark hours.

Memory doulas - may they be as common in ten years as doulas are today!